It's even worse than I thought it could be...

The trailers didn't mislead me! And I agree with one of the reviewers, that 'Twilight has dialogue so wooden you could stake a vampire with it.' Seriously, watch this little piece and tell me it doesn't look like a really, really, really bad high school play? Sadly, the 'sparkle effect' is lost on the recording. And the rest of it is so cheesy... well, people with dairy issues should probably use caution.

And, for funny (though it's a little old, I can't leave you with only something that vomit-inducing) much better dialogue than SMeyer could ever write...

EDIT: BEST SPOOF EVER. Seriously, if YouTube had a tip jar, I'd contribute.

Ta-Da!

Goodbye, $5,700.
Hello, huge slab of concrete!