Questions that keep me up at night

[smeddley]

I can't stop thinking about the massive earthquake that's going to destroy the Earth (or, at least, make it Hell on Earth) this coming Saturday. Not that I even remotely believe it's going to happen, but still, I continue to try to logically construct a scenario where such an earthquake could possibly even exist. And I continue to fail.

I know. Can't make sense out of crazy. But I keep trying.

1) The DoomsdayQuake will begin at the International Date Line and move West.
Directional quake, eh? Nice to know it's not one of those standard quakes, you know, the kind with an epicenter and a spreading radius of shaking/damage. Been there, done that, time for something new. And, really, I suppose an omnipotent god could accomplish that - really, an omnipotent god could just turn the entire planet into sponge cake and we'd all drown in the sticky sweet syrup... which I might have believed more. Interestingly enough, I find my suspension of disbelief is actually easier the further from the truth a story is. Ask me to watch a TV show about traveling through other planets via wormholes? No problem. Show me an episode of CSI where they get DNA from a place someone brushed up against a piece of furniture? Now just you hold on, there, mister!

2) The DoomsdayQuake will hit each place at 6 pm local time
Um, have you looked at a time zone map lately? Here's one I even colored for your convenience:



The time zones are colored, rainbow-style, from right (IDL) to left. I'll just let that sink in for a minute.

We're no longer talking about a giant, rolling earthquake that sweeps the globe. We're talking about a hit-and-miss style earthquake that observes time lines - could you straddle a time line and have one leg shaking and the other not? What about Northern Greenland and Antarctica, where there is no official time? What about the people on the International Space Station? Oh please oh please oh please tell me there's going to be a 'space quake'! What about the precise North and South Poles? What if you're flying? Will departing souls puncture the aircraft causing depressurization? Should people flying on Saturday actually pay attention to the safety lecture on oxygen masks? (I kid, I kid, you should always pay attention)

And they haven't mentioned how long the DoomsdayQuake will last. Will it hit one time zone, shake for twenty minutes, and then there's a forty minute lull before it strikes the next time zone? Will it shake for an hour, then turn off when the next time zone activates? Inquiring minds want to know!

There are lots of other questions to ask, most of which I'm sure are unanswerable, but I really need to get to bed, because I still have a job to go to tomorrow. We tried to lobby for the day off, on account of the end of the world and all, but oddly, they didn't buy it.

Comments

[triskellion.livejournal.com]

I love the engineer's desire to apply logic to the fanatical ramblings of religion. Which isn't to say I diss all religions, just fanatical ramblings with no semblance of logic. It's so fun to poke holes in that part. The rainbow colors help a lot. *snorfle* Right, 6pm local time exactly. Does that take into account daylight savings? Which not every country, state, or even county is consistent on?

[smeddley.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I'm not making fun of Christians or the Bible, even, but I think I'm allowed to mock a fruitcake! :D Actually, that's unfair. I like fruitcake...

I forgot to mention the DST question! I had that one written down before, and it's a pretty important one to get the answer to...

[tarpo.livejournal.com]

Wait.. so do I die 30 minutes BEFORE or AFTER everyone else.. Gah its so confusing living here!

[smeddley.livejournal.com]

Ooooh, are you in one of those timezones? No wonder your television tweets always seem a little off, time-wise!

[alankria.livejournal.com]

Ooh, I didn't know there was an earthquake involved! I thought it was jus the Rapture, with those sinners among us remaining on earth with the risen dead. We've been making zombie apocalypse plans over here; now we need to factor in basic earthquake survival too! =s

[smeddley.livejournal.com]

Yes! DoomsdayQuake will ravage the earth! You didn't think they'd just leave things all hunky-doory down here for us heathens, did you? That would be like... Rapture in Reverse. :D Find a sturdy shelter, a door frame, under a heavy desk, and make sure you have your emergency food and water! Luckily, if you have an accurate clock, you'll know exactly when to take shelter.

[alankria.livejournal.com]

Quote from the office: "So we've got an earthquake, and zombies... oh no, the zombies are falling into holes created by the earthquake! This apocalypse was not thought through."

[shmigs.livejournal.com]

I heard about the kids of doomsday parents who asked if they still have to make their beds on Saturday?

[smeddley.livejournal.com]

I wouldn't! But then, I never make my bed, so maybe it's a bad example. I guess you would want to shower and brush your teeth, don't want to be raptured and spend eternity with stinky pitts and fuzzy teeth...

Time is an illusion - God's time, doubly so

[nyarhotep.livejournal.com]

¡Haha! Dancing in your mind always has a lively tune.

But, what I think you're discounting is that Time-zones (on the whole) are designed around seasonal permutations. From what I understand, they were designed around an average solar-cycle. So, "people-time" is geocentric, ¿wouldn't god-time be helio-centric? So, we're not talking about 6pm Greenwich Mean Time (GMT), we're talking about 6pm god-time or Sol Median Time (SoMT).

Of course, that still leaves us with the same relative issue of where on the Sun we're measuring time. But, again, we have to look at this from a divine point of view where location is relative (or even meaningless). Gods are omnipresent, so they're working on a universal clock, not a physical clock. We could get into the quandary that even time is a relative construct to a god, but that's belied by the fact that 6pm has already been a divinely set (or, at least, that's one of our premises) so we don't have throw out time entirely.

What I'm thinking is that SoMT is more akin to Coordinated Universal Time (UTC) than GMT. God set a timer running down when it was decided the world would end on May 21 at 6pm SoMT and, Deus Vult, thus shall it be. While I have no idea what offset SoMT would take in regards to GMT, it doesn't really matter. While there is "lucky" timezone where 6pm SoMT coincides with 6pm Local Mean Time, it's merely coincidental - though, since we're talking about The Book religions (those based on The Judeo-Christian Bible), I'm guessing it'd be the one over the Fertile Crescent. Either way, it's immaterial.

This all means the SuperQuake could be relatively "normal" in that it has an epicenter, radiates out, and acts as a normal quake, it would just happen to engulf the world in its wake.

What might be more interesting is where that epicenter might be. But, again, given the omnipresent nature of gods, I'd guess it would mostly like originate at the "center" of the planet (oblate spheroid that it might be) and the ripples would hemorrhage upward and crest in the crust and mantle at relative points depending on strata strength, depth, and so on. If there's one thing god seems to show in the Bible, it's that the "normal" rules of physics usually apply, albeit on a much grander and more pointed scale than normal (parting of the Red Sea, the Walls of Jericho, etc.)

¿Ya dig me?