Swimming for my life

...dizziness, rash, fever, and an uncontrolable urge to dance naked in the subway while singing show tunes.

Have you ever really taken the time to read all the possible side effects of your medications? It is terrifying. It can also be funny (a side effect of sleeping pills is 'drowsiness'). But mostly terrifying.

Every medication is a potential killer. But then, when you stop to think about it, so is every food and insect. Anyone can have a sudden, fatal reaction to anything.

The steroid shots in my back don't seem to be doing anything, so the doctor prescribed an anti-inflammatory and physical therapy. I picked up the medication today and proceeded to have a mild panic attack over the list of possible side effects (ranging from 'might cause dizziness' to 'you could have a heart attack and die'). My least favorite possible side effect was 'unexplained weight gain'. Thank you very much, I'd at least like to enjoy the overeating and sedentary life style if I'm going to blow up like a puffer fish.

But the best part? All those possible side effects and risks are exactly the same as ibuprofen, a drug I know and love and take all the time.

So now I have a new excuse: it's not me, it's the painkillers making me fat.