And the winners (of the rounds) are...

[smeddley]

All answers have been unscreened! Check the links for all of the other great answers... but, there can be only one winner for each round...

Round One - Lyrics!

Winner: poskunk! Because, although anam_cara_ also eventually got the right answer, he knew it off the bat. The answer is 'Stand and Deliver' by Rik Emmet (who was once a member - portion - of the band Truimph)

Round Two - Who is Oliver?

Winner: poskunk! Not only did he know Oliver was the 1963 Opel Kadett featured in the Botswanna episode of Top Gear, he wrote this for his answer:

Oliver was an aging member of the British Expeditionary Force serving in Africa. In his 40's he had never progressed beyond being a Kadett, being somewhat "underpowered" and failing to impress his superiors and his peers. He was generally looked down upon and ridiculed by those around him (although he was popular with the local village children) so he spent most of his time caring for his pet hamster, Richard.

One day Olivers unit was ordered to make a forced march across some of the more treacherous regions so they dutifully set out. It was a very difficult march and most of the unit suffered terrible deprivations. Oliver, however, trudged happily on with his beloved Richard in his pocket. All was going well until they reached a river... Oliver couldn't swim. Despite his trepidation Richard (who was a magic talking hamster) convinced him to try to cross the river. Unfortunately, Oliver fell into the river and was left for dead by his comrades.

Luckily for Oliver, Richard the magic hamster knew basic water rescue techniques and was able to resuscitate him. Oliver and Richard quickly caught up to his comrades, much to their amazement, and finished their trek across Africa. After this adventure Richard the hamster teleported himself and Oliver to magical Hamsterland where they lived happily ever after... THE END.

anam_cara_ and cazrolime also got it right, and I think cazrolime should get extra credit for inadvertently using a Top Gear related icon while answering before she knew the answer. If you're curious, the blue letters could be rearranged to spell 'Top Gear'.

Round Three - Dots and Dashes

Winner: elaran! For this: +++ Divide By Cucumber Error. Please Reinstall Universe And Reboot +++ Though there were a lot of good and right answers. It was Morse Code "What is that freaky thing?" and the answer is "Rufus, the Naked Mole Rat". From his hit song "Naked Mole Rap" on the Kim Possible CD.

Round Four - Unusual movie plots

Winner: This was a tough one, but anam_cara_ edged out cazrolime. They both have really, really, really great answers, so go read them here! Here's a highlight:

"They travel to every end of the earth, as they uncover a plot involving genetic engineering of fig trees in order to bring a new vicious wasp species to the forefront of world domination. A devious mastermind with a bitter hatred of all of mankind, Dr. Agaonidae, thought his plot to be far too subtle for the ignorant common man, the testosterone-poisoned military leaders, and corrupt politicians of the world. Little did he consider the intellect, drive, and compassion of a pesky caprifier to unravel and derail his plans. Ari and Reginald struggle to convince others of the potential devastation that is impeding upon the world. The set up has been two-fold… the engineered figs cause instant infertility to any mammal that consumes and digest them, and the pollinating wasps have been selectively bred for aggressiveness, supernatural intelligence, and a mutualism with the figs that borders on symbiosis. It is clear that the wasps have the ability to organize and collaborate to become a deadly entomological army once their numbers increase."

Round Five - Something Happy!

Winner: clare_dragonfly for this picture I'm not at all a huge macro fan, but this was AWESOME. tjstein was a close second with this picture.

Round Six - What's in my office?

Winner: crimsonlotus84! A bit of his answer is here (click on the round to read the rest of his answer and the others!):

"Top desk drawer - Smiley Face Sticker attached the the 25mm Armor piercing three barrel vulcan machine gun.
Bottom lateral fle drawer - 50 Lbs of demolitions grade C4 inside the cooling unit.
Bookcase - Advanced Explosives Thermodynamics for Dummies
Desktop - Hidden Compartment 5 - Twinky Dispenser"

gelsey also gets props for scrolling back through 100 LJ entries to find which engineering manual I used to parody the whole Cassie Edwards/ferret/romance novel business.

Round Seven - Recommend a Book!

Winner: crimsonlotus84! While many of you rec'ed great books, he mentioned Bruce Campbell's second book, which I own but haven't read. Plus, c'mon, it's Bruce Campbell.

Round Eight - Kicking the Lego Star Wars habit

Winner: anam_cara_ for her 12-step program!

1. You must admit you are powerless over THE FORCE—that your life has become unmanageable. (Beware of the dark side. Anger, fear, aggression; the dark side of the Force are they. Easily they flow, quick to join you in a fight. If once you start down the dark path, forever will it dominate your destiny, consume you it will)
2. Believe that a Power greater than yourself could restore you to sanity. (Only the Dark Lord of the Sith knows of our weakness.)
3. Make a decision to turn your will and your life over to the Dark Side to the bleak existence of life without gaming. (You want to go home and rethink your life.)
4. Make a searching and fearless moral inventory of yourself. (Fear leads to anger. Anger leads to hate. Hate leads to suffering.)
5. Admit to yourself and to another human being the exact nature of your wrongs. (Named must your fear be before banish it you can.)
6. Be entirely ready to have The Force remove all these defects of character. (You must unlearn what you have learned...I find your lack of faith disturbing.)
7. Do or do not... there is no try.
8. Make a list of all the time you've wasted, and become willing to make amends by crafting.
9. Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others. (We seem to be made to suffer. It's our lot in life.)
10. Continue to take personal inventory and when you are wrong promptly admit it. (Many of the truths we cling to depend greatly upon our own point of view.)
11. Realize your ally is the Force, and a powerful ally it is. Life creates it, makes it grow. Its energy surrounds us and binds us. Luminous beings are we, not this crude matter. You must feel the Force around you; here, between you, me, the tree, the rock, everywhere, yes.
12. Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, you must tried to carry this message to others, and to practice these principles in all your affairs. (Always two there are, no more, no less: a master and an apprentice)

Round Nine - name these books!

Winner: cazrolime! She was completely wrong, but they were great made-up books!

1. "Ernie and Bart Pray for the Mafia Bone". It's a popular Christian novel about two gangsters who spend the first half of the story finding Jesus and the second half making sure that their dead buddy (who was killed in a freak explosion in an acid factory, leaving only his femur behind) finds Him, too, post-humously.

2. "The Anachronism Show: In Defiance Of Gravity". One of a series of spin-off novels based on the hit 70s TV show of the same name. Gravity is the heartwarming tale of a Roman noblewoman who is pulled forwards in time by an ancient race known as the Grephians so that they can harness her design for a hovering transport.

3. "Kiss My Raisin". A slightly obscure short story by the long-running author Frederick Wintersauce, much loved by English teachers for his obscure and open-to-interpretation prose. After several readings and much thought, one critic described it as "certainly a book... perhaps with a dog in it".

4. "101 More Unlikely Places To Do Each Other". A how-to book.

5. "What's Wrong With This Picture?". A children's picture book inviting them to pick out the one object in each glossy full-colour photograph that appears out of place. (In the cover example, it's the hat.)

6. "Zen and the Art of Prolonged Cuddling". The debut novel from Sally Bunnyslipper, and described by reviewers as "sweet and moving and perhaps a little fluffy" and "a warm romance for all the family".

(Real answers: Don't Ask by DOnald Westlake, House Corino by Brian Herbert and Kevin ANderson, To say nothing of the dog by Connie Willis, Spin Cycle by Sue Margolis, The trouble with Harry by Katie McAllister, and Night in Lonesome October by Richard Lamon)

Round Ten - mysterious green turtle

Winner: auraesque by a slim margin with this answer: "It's an ancient Atlantian amulet that renders the bearer impervious to time. The bearer slows while the world moves on around him or her. No one really knows why anyone would need such an amulet as it's use often ended up with the bearer in compromising situations involving crossdressing and funny hats"

Other notable entries by poskunk who mentioned the Great Turtle A'Tuin and knew it actually came from a small rodent water bottle, and to alankria for the great narrative about the lesser purse turtle, which had me in stitches. Seriously, go read it!

Round Eleven - Best TV shows ever

Winner: poskunk, though he lost a lot of points for including Battlestar Gallactica, he made them up reminding me of Battlebots and Junkyard Wars. A close second was tarpo, for a slew of good shows.

Comments

[auraesque.livejournal.com]

Haha, I love these answers. :D

[clare-dragonfly.livejournal.com]

Woohoo, I won a round! I figured, it was adorable, a dog, and yarn... how could you help but love it?

[http://users.livejournal.com/anam_cara_/]

Anything having to do with the naked mole rat has flown right over my head... I think any mention of a particular penchant for Rufus or any other NMR was prior to our mutual befriending on LJ.

I have to say, I think that poskunk has a particular advantage though ;)

I've commented on some the answers on each round, the comments still show up screened, but will the person I replied to still get my comment? There were a lot of really great, interesting things that got brought up and shared via web links through Snerfflebarglast, I've really enjoyed going back and reading everyone's entries in each round.

Thanks so much for putting this on, it was a lot of fun, and each round was a much needed distraction, giving me something odd to puzzle out or attempt stretching some creativity brain cells.

[smeddley.livejournal.com]

Oh, yeah, sorry - I changed it so the answers are no longer screened, I forgot about that. They will get your comment, but they can't reply while it's screened. It's weird. :D

No problem, I just wish I could keep it together through a whole contest - I get so flighty! O.o

[crimsonlotus84.livejournal.com]

Let it be said, that there's nothing more entertaining or dangerous than a wild imagination.

[cazrolime.livejournal.com]

anam_cara_ needs to start a help group, like now. :P

*wins at books* *glees*

Yay, I get to go look at the other answers! \o/

[http://users.livejournal.com/anam_cara_/]

Ha!

You definitely won at the book round, my favorite is "Ernie and Bart Pray for the Mafia Bone"!