Snerfflebarglast, Round 10: the penultimate round

[smeddley]

I know I promised a scoreboard, and it's coming soon. Really. In the meantime, enjoy round 10.

I was searching through my purse for my misplaced (again) doorcard, and when I petulantly dumped the entire contents onto my desk, this spilled out:



What is it, and how did it get in my purse? (-10000000 points for everyone who says 'it's a turtle!' :p)

Comments

[aeamek.livejournal.com]

It's a sea turtle. I know because I put it there.

[poskunk.livejournal.com]

It's the Great A'Tuin! Obviously he was hiding in your purse out of shame at having lost his elephants, who refused to follow him into a giant (to them) bottle filled with water. Always knew that the elephants were the weak link in the whole Discworld arrangement!

[alankria.livejournal.com]

It's the lesser green purse-trutle, a creature that may look like a turtle but is actually a parasite ingested in the form of a small purple egg. When it hatches, it begins nibbling on the contents of the purse. If allowed to remain for long enough, eventually it will nibble the purse itself. (if it achieves this, though, it dies.) Obviously, your purse has eaten something out of date or from a dodgy street vendor.

Just be glad it didn't eat something infected with the eggs of the colossal green purse-trutle.

[nakedblueninja.livejournal.com]

It's.... it's... *snf*...

...

....s'green.

[clare-dragonfly.livejournal.com]

It's a souvenir from an aquarium gift shop, and it got into your purse when you were trying to shoplift a larger stuffed turtle. They caught you, but neither you nor they realized at first that this turtle had fallen in the meantime. Since they didn't prosecute you (you swore up and down not to do it again) you kept this turtle, after you found it, as a good-luck charm and reminder never to steal again.

[tarpo.livejournal.com]

Its smelly soap.. Someone things you smell terrible and its a combination of a hint to tell you to wash more, a strong scent to cover your stench, and its shaped like a turtle becuase you are slow.

[crimsonlotus84.livejournal.com]

In a world...where crimes go unpunished...
In a world...where evil walks the streets...
There are...the Toddler Mal-formed Null Turtles!!

Hiding in the purses of everyday citizens, they walk the streets by day and night. Watching. Waiting. Hoping for the one chance to prove their steal against the hardened criminals of the world by being that annoyingly sticky object that doesn't come off for weeks when raiding a snatched purse.

Evil Beware. They are watching.

[http://users.livejournal.com/anam_cara_/]

Well, it's clearly not a tortoise, but a sea turtle... but I am stumped as to being able to determine if it is plastic, or gummi. I'd laugh if it was a gummi children's vitamin, it doesn't look like a bead, so I'm thinking it's a little plastic gumball machine toy.

So, what's its story? Oh, the possibilities!

1)While looking like an innocent plastic trinket, it really has a hidden homing device inside. It got into your purse when a secret agent slipped it in during a Royals game while you were distracted by trying figure out how to cheer during the gloomy homerun music. You are being tracked as a possible terrorist, given their surveillance of your eclectic and questionable web activity. They suspect you of creating a bomb of yarn, bacon, and concrete disguised as a drippy phallic object.

2)It is a secret symbol of Mr. Smeddley's devotion to you. Forget things like wedding bands, this plastic sea turtle was what he handed to you when he proposed on the beach at sunset. You usually keep it on your dresser, however, he slips it into your purse now and then as a surprise and quiet reminder.

3)You belong to a secret society that identifies each other by the possession of a small, green, plastic sea turtle. It was handed down to you from your mother, and you keep it in your purse for opportunities such as flashing it to a cop to get out of a ticket, to a librarian to let you skip ahead in a book reservation queue, to a fast food clerk to keep your burger from being spit on, etc. Occasionally you'll have secret rituals that involve chanting on a beach and capturing newly hatched sea turtles and swallowing them whole.

4)It is your coworker's favorite desktop trinket. You stole it to deliberately be vindictive, and plan on ransoming it for the parking space he has set a claim on.

Oh, and here's a somewhat random link for you, a little knitting idea if you particularly like sea turtles:
http://www.geocities.com/thelibrarian18/seaturtle.html

[cazrolime.livejournal.com]

It's the world's most adorable (possibly lime-scented, it looks lime-scented, don't ask me how that works) bar of soap! And the tiny black blobs are probably fluff from the inside of the purse. That stuff gets everywhere.

Doesn't look like it's been used, so clearly you saw it in an adorable shop and thought it was adorable and so you bought it with adorable money and put it in your adorable purse because it's too small to need a plastic bag and you were feeling environmentally-conscious. (Ow, run-on sentence.) The creative part of this answer came when you stepped out of the shop and were abducted by large blue tentacular aliens, but since the turtle was already in your purse at that point, I feel secure in neglecting to describe that encounter further. Suffice it to say that you might want to re-count your toes.

[auraesque.livejournal.com]

It's an ancient Atlantian amulet that renders the bearer impervious to time. The bearer slows while the world moves on around him or her. No one really knows why anyone would need such an amulet as it's use often ended up with the bearer in comprimising situtions involving crossdressing and funny hats/