And now for something completely different

[smeddley]

The Importance of Man-Made Fibers
(and other things baseball has taught me)

Nothing says baseball like 30°F temperatures and a howling 30 mph wind! At least here in KC. We're not sissies, We don't need a stinkin' dome or perennially nice weather. We're tough. We can take it. We... oh, is that cocoa?

You know it's going to be a rough game when the hot chocolate vendors are out in force. You know it's going to be a rough game when the gift shop sells out of hideously overpriced blankets and jackets. You know it's going to be a rough game when your butt loses all sensation due to the block of ice cold plastic seat. But what you don't know is whether it's going to be worth it. And, despite the last few years of disappointment, we keep hoping and thinking it just might be. And sometimes it is. Sometimes you end up with an exciting, edge-of-your seat game and a victory. Sometimes you forget the cold and discomfort as you cheer your team on. Sometimes.

Friday... was not one of those days. Friday was miserable. There was absolutely nothing redeemable about Friday. It was cold. The wind was howling. The Royals sucked. And I was without sufficient polyester.

Now, I grant you that the 70s gave polyester and other man-made fibers a bad rap. Leisure suits are hideous, no one will argue with that. But that's the dark side of polyester. It's the black sheep of the polyester family. It's the polyester that time really should forget. Not all polyester is evil. Take for instance... the windbreaker.

Say what you want about sliced bread, but the true marvel (as you are sitting on a cold plastic seat with wind whipping about you) is a fabric that can block the wind. I was in three layers, all cotton-based. And despite them being usually warm (a long-sleeved tee, a sweatshirt, and a fleece jacket) the wind cut right through all three layers, chilling the windward side of me until I was shivering like a high-strung Chihuahua on speed. My husband, snug in his plastic-y, wind-resistant Royals jacket, smugly informed me that he barely felt the wind. I think the only way he knew it was even swirling through the seats was the fact that my hair kept hitting him in the face. Ha! Serves him right. *grumble grumble*

But to top it off, not only did we not even see them score, we didn't even see any remarkable plays. I mean, Saturday's game sucked, too, but there was a jersey giveaway and an awesome play at first after the ball went off the pitcher's shin. At least they got to make use of the (admittedly awesome) giant new hi-def screen.

Such is the life of a Royals fan, though, left with only the bitter taste of crushed dreams and a frozen butt. And still stupidly optimistic that the next game will be better! Given their current record, I should have 57.1% chance of seeing them win. Given my seeming curse, I give it a 12.3% chance*.

* calculated by taking their current statistical chance of them winning, extrapolating to the winning percentage at the time of the next game, adjusting for the relative merit of the team they will be playing, factoring in the weather as an inverse proportion to the allowable level of suck, and additionally reducing it by the curse factor (whereby it seems that they lose every game you attend, even if they win every other one).

Comments

[cdpeck.livejournal.com]

Say what you want about sliced bread, but the true marvel (as you are sitting on a cold plastic seat with wind whipping about you) is a fabric that can block the wind.

Tell the truth. You ended that with "break wind" and then went back and changed it, didn't you?

[smeddley.livejournal.com]

On the up side, I now have Spinal Tap running through my head...

[gelsey.livejournal.com]

Awww, tsk tsk on sucky games. And wind. Wind sucks. Hate wind. Hope they win the next one!

[smeddley.livejournal.com]

Man, it was WINDY when I walked to the grocery store! 40 mph gusts! The end of my pony tail hitting me in the fact was actually quite painful...

[gelsey.livejournal.com]

Definitely a been-there, done-that situation ;)