This time, I mean it!

[smeddley]

You know what occurred to me this morning? It's not pleasant thought, and it might offend some people, but... LJ is like an abusive spouse. I'm not talking about the in-your-face, smacks you with a frying pan abusive, but the subtle mental abuse. Like a spouse that constantly says mean, sly things to destroy your self-worth. Then buys you flowers.

No, really. Think about it. What's been happening?

LJ: does something really stupid and/or offensive
Users: Upset and outraged
LJ: Sort of apologizes, but not really
Users: Even more upset and outraged
LJ: Backpedals and makes a 'real' effort at the 'relationship'
Users : grumble, but say 'that's better'
LJ: says 'we'll be good from now on, promise'
Users: okaaaay...

(lather, rinse, repeat)

And, yes, please point out the flaws in this analogy, because it's giving me the heebie-jeebies.

Also, for the latest mop-up, my all time favorite 'spin' since Clinton and the 'depends on how you define the word sex' debacle!

link to the original - and for the link-phobic:

LJ User: could you please clarify if you have used word "blackmail" related to some LJ customers, or not?

Nossik: No, I did not. The interview was not done in English.

Reminds me of playing Zork. "Look at the crack" "It's a crack!" Grrrrr! "Look into to crack" "There's a key in the crack!"

So the properly rebuttal, I guess, would be, "did you use the Russian word that is equivalent to the meaning of the English word blackmail in the interview?"

Comments

[foxfirefey]

Hahahahah, there's been an icon like that for a long time that says something like “LJ: The abusive boyfriend that you keep coming back to.”

[smeddley.livejournal.com]

*sigh* It's so true! But the minute he actually hits me... :/

[http://users.livejournal.com/anam_cara_/]

I guess I never see the 'flowers', the giving back aspect, it seems that far less effort is put in at that end appeasing us.

However, to add another aspect to the analogy- why don't I leave? Because I feel so invested in this relationship, all those years, it's difficult to walk away from.

[smeddley.livejournal.com]

Well, the flowers so far have been dandelions snagged from the neighbor's yard, but a lot of people think 'it's the thought that counts.'

Which is totally not true, no matter what people say. ;)

And your reasoning? The exact same reason people stay in all abusive relationships - and we all believe that if we try, we can totally make this work with LJ... *sigh*

(Of course, there's a slight higgle in that analogy - you have a lot invested with the other users of LJ, who are not abusing you - the abuser is the platform through which you communicate. So is it more like having a nasty summer camp counselor, but all your friends go to that summer camp, so you put up with it to see them? I think that's more it.)

[tjstein.livejournal.com]

I'm feeling a bit out of it, I suppose. I don't think any of their changes have affected me (aside from seeing my flist go ballistic).

Perhaps my metaphorical boyfriend has been abusive to all his previous significant others but not to me...yet.

[http://users.livejournal.com/anam_cara_/]

Most of the past flare-ups didn't affect me directly either, but I did feel uncomfortable each time with how they were handled, I think this is the foremost problem time and again.

As for this last change, it does actually affect you... because even if it doesn't change your own account, every new user after the 12th will most likely have a sponsored account, which means that more and more of your friends list is likely to be subjecting YOU to the ads that they are forced to have on their posts (you'll see them when you comment in a post, they're usually a banner between the post and the beginning of the comment list and on their profile page). These banners tend to get flashier and flashier, and as smeddley pointed out in a previous post, places like MySpace also can also give you "a raving case of spyware", which I believe would be the next incarnation of the advertising here as well.

I've got AdBlock working for me now, so that really helps, but it's irritating all the same. I just miss the simpler days of LJ, it was just so straightforward, call me an old foddy doddy, but I don't need a bunch of bells and whistles or progressive development, I just want space to journal, communicate with friends, and be part of fun communities.

[tjstein.livejournal.com]

I guess I've been through a lot worse. I used to be on diary-x and that debacle has made me shrug off anything else, I suppose. I've never noticed ads on LJ, perhaps it's because I have a paid account?

[smeddley.livejournal.com]

Yeah, if you have a paid account you don't see ads... except when you go to log-in through the front page. Or if you use Firefox and adblock. But try using IE, logged out, and look at a few pages. It's really hideous.

[tjstein.livejournal.com]

okay, just logged out and did that...but it's not a big deal to me. I see worse on the Yahoo home page when I log into my email every day.

[smeddley.livejournal.com]

See, I hate ads - I mean, hate hate hate hate them. There are even a lot of really blinky icons that set my teeth on edge.

I use Firefox and Adblock, so even places like Yahoo I don't see ads. There's also the issue of if there are ads next to your content - on your blog - does that not seem like an endorsement of it? I'd be fine, as I said before, with tasteful advertising of things I support. But to have a quack-dangerous weight-loss drug advertised next to my post about food? Nu-uh.

I know a lot of people don't mind ads, that's why they opt for Plus accounts. They just make my eyes bleed.

[tjstein.livejournal.com]

I use Firefox & Adblock at home but at work I'm stuck with IE.

I see your point, I really do. I suppose I'm more ambivalent about ads. I see them as a necessary evil, really. How many free sites don't have advertising? I see those Google ads on some websites and I usually just chuckle at them when they seem to be advertising the exact oppposite of what the website seems to be about. I wouldn't ever think that the site endorses the ads.

But you really should consult a physician about the bleeding eye thing. Because that doesn't seem quite right.

[smeddley.livejournal.com]

Yeah, me too. I really wish work would switch over, because ads bog down load time and there are things I look at for work, especially weather. So that means news sites, which are ad-y as hell.

And, really, it's not just about the ads at all. We (for now) can pay not to see them, and we all know how to get around them. It's more the attitude that's bothering me.

[http://users.livejournal.com/anam_cara_/]

Yes, that is definitely a benefit of having a paid account, those ads are blocked for you!

[justcara.livejournal.com]

Are you gonna participate in the content strike tomorrow?

I've thought about switching back to LJ on account of blogger being crappy lately but with this mess...

[smeddley.livejournal.com]

I shall, if nothing else to show support for the people it has effected.

I still love LJ's sense of community and I like the pages a lot more (Blogger never seems to let me log in, though I know my username and password... I think it just hates me), but management is really going down the tubes. It's another one of those 'wait and see' moments, I think.

[aeamek.livejournal.com]

I think you let the LJ makers get to you too much.

On the plus side, +1 to you for playing Zork.

[smeddley.livejournal.com]

Eh, in the grand scheme of things I do realize it's not a big deal, but it does effect me and I'm not one to take abuse lightly (unless I'm getting paid for it, but that's a whole other story... ).

I loved Zork. They need to bring back that style of game. :(

[oneworldvision.livejournal.com]

That's a disturbingly accurate analogy.

[smeddley.livejournal.com]

Sad, huh?

[gelsey.livejournal.com]

LOL. How ... hilariously yet awfully accurate.

[smeddley.livejournal.com]

Well, you know, I'm still waiting for those promised chocolates... :/

[crimsonlotus84.livejournal.com]

Shit...that sounded exactly like my last relationship...and my relationship DID involve LJ. Motherfucker...

[smeddley.livejournal.com]

It's one giant set-up, I tell you!

[auraesque.livejournal.com]

What is your blogger address? I am hollygrande.blogspot.com, or auraesque.blogspot.com. If you send your email my way, I will give you access to my auraesque blog.

I have recently discovered the Google Reader is like a flist. Heee. I will make my own community, and I will love it and hug it and name it George.

[smeddley.livejournal.com]

Mine's smeddley.blogspot.com - here's a question,do they not e-mail you comments? Because evidently I got one (from comment on justcara's blog, I'm sure) and I never knew about it!

I'm always smeddley! If I can be, that is.

My e-mail address is as well, at comcast.net :)