They'll be here to take me in any minute now!

[smeddley]

So I mailed two packages out this afternoon! Yay me! In doing so, I learned some stuff.

I'm not allowed to mail honey to South Africa! Or any goods made by convict labor (though this appears to be a rather common restriction, actually). So I got to thinking... what else can't I send?

Well, kiddies, I found out that I have already broken the law! And ignorance of the law is no excuse, etc, etc. I mailed penchaft a penny from the year she was born, and this violates the prohibitions for Western Australia!

From the USPS website (emphasis mine):

Country Conditions for Mailing — Australia
Prohibitions (130)

• Coins; bank notes; currency notes (paper money); securities of any kind payable to bearer; traveler’s checks; platinum, gold, and silver (manufactured or not); precious stones; jewelry; and other valuable articles are prohibited.
  
• Fruit cartons (used or new).
  
• Goods bearing the name “Anzac.”
  
• Goods produced wholly or partly in prisons or by convict labor.
  
• Perishable infectious biological substances.
  
• Radioactive materials.
  
• Registered philatelic articles with fictitious addresses.
  
• Seditious literature.
  
• Silencers for firearms.
  
• Used bedding.

Also, my English friends will be sad to know I am prohibited from shipping live bees to you... Also, horror comics. So no zombies for you. :(

My US friends will be happy to note that the only things I'm prohibited from mailing to you are bombs, child pornography, and unsolicited sexually oriented advertising. So expect your shipment of cash, honey, bees, used bedding and zombie comics any day now!

Comments

[gelsey.livejournal.com]

Horror comics? That's a weird one, ain't it. (sorry, reading something with ethnic speech habits makes me want to use them occasionally)

... Anzac?

Interesting, really.

[smeddley.livejournal.com]

Yeah, that's the one I wondered about.

So, did you guess your present yet? :D They were good clues...

[gelsey.livejournal.com]

Not yet. My only braindead guess last night was a life, but I doubt you can fit that into a package, snerk ;)

They were good clues, and I should know. I'm sure my brain will spit out the appropriate response soon enough.

[smeddley.livejournal.com]

Sure, the cereal comes in a nice box, no problem! ;)

Yeah, you should. Just think about the last package you got from me. Now, along those lines, think about something you wanted, and couldn't find... I even commented and suggested another way around it...

Also, sorry it's not the best, it was my first attempt!

[penchaft.livejournal.com]

The Australian and New Zealand Army Corps.

They basically created (or cemented) a very large chunk of Australian values and our war-time history during World War I (not the first time we were called to fight someoene else's war, and actually a sterling example of the kind of humour that Australia is known for: our national identity was forged not only on a foreign continent fighting someone else's war, but it was forged at the incorrect landing site Hilariously, if the orders had gone through properly and the ANZACs had landed at the correct spot, they would have all been slaughtered within weeks).

To trivialise the name is heinous. Proper Australians will not even stand for someone referring to ANZAC biscuits as "cookies", we will not see the glorious dead insulted by having their corps name plastered over trade goods. Australia and New Zealand petitioned U.K. Parliament to restrict use of the term "Anzac" in trade goods, so that only things that actually have something to do with the ANZACs are allowed to use the name, and we're not going to accept it from America.

A national sports team was heavily insulted for having the nickname "The Battlers"; I think we'd probably start getting the bayonets back out if someone shipped in some "Anzac toothpaste".

[smeddley.livejournal.com]

Very interesting! Okay, I've learned TWO new things today, it's definitely time for bed...

[penchaft.livejournal.com]

Also, the four lines that we yearly recite to remember the glorious dead:

They shall grow not old, as we that are left grow old;
Age shall not weary them, nor the years condemn.
At the going down of the sun and in the morning
We will remember them.

This comes from an English poem, the first two lines of which are:

With proud thanksgiving, a mother for her children,
England mourns for her dead across the sea.

OUR NATIONAL IDENTITY IS HILARIOUS.

[smeddley.livejournal.com]

*GIRT*

that is all

[penchaft.livejournal.com]

At least there's no suicidal sheep thief.

[penchaft.livejournal.com]

Pfft. Up until a few years ago it was illegal here to record TV shows to VHS tapes or to copy CDs onto our computers. Ours is a convict colony, laws mean nothing. =P

[smeddley.livejournal.com]

Penal colony! C'mon, that's a funnier name... :P

Cool, though, I'm totally sending you a used pillowcase...

[penchaft.livejournal.com]

Ew.

[smeddley.livejournal.com]

Sorry, couldn't resist, that is the funniest restriction I've ever heard! I mean, who'd want used bedding, anyway? Were people importing so much they had to make a rule?!

[penchaft.livejournal.com]

Bedding could have mites or things in it! Australia's shipping restrictions are insanely important for keeping our country free of diseases and bugs. Customs is strict - you're not allowed to take apples or bananas from the plane into the country. There's little you guys can do to stop Canadians or Mexicans smuggling in fruit fly or worse, but we can have sniffer dogs at every airport and ferry.

And then, of course, we deliberately ship in fucking cane toads. =/

[smeddley.livejournal.com]

I hear bed bugs are becoming a problem in New York, even in expensive hotels!

I say we blame all our problems on those pesky Canadians! ;) Smuggling in all sorts of things!

I done heard you have a bit of a wabbit problem, too...

[revoked-soul.livejournal.com]

Y'know, I think most Canadians are more concerned with what they can smuggle OUT. :D

[smeddley.livejournal.com]

Damn you Canadians, stealing our stuff! :P

[dynastic-queen.livejournal.com]

I, the dynastic one, give The Goddess of Potholes and Puddles express permission to forward all sexually oriented advertising that she deeems important and necessary, for a period of one year, at which time this contract can be renegotiated. The terms herein are considered legal and binding within the boundaries of these United States. On and on, ad nauseam, and amen.

(Now it isn't unsolicited.)

[smeddley.livejournal.com]

Now I need to ... OH! That just gave me an idea of a craft to try to make for your homemade free crap! YAY!

:D

Otherwise, you were getting a scarf, and I'm not sure you need warm stuff so much...

[dynastic-queen.livejournal.com]

Girl, yeah! We bake in an oven during the summer, but let me tell you, hell does freeze over in the winter here. It it COLD, sometimes down in the "teens" for a spell. Crazy, eh?

So a scarf would be welcome. But I'm leaving that completely up to you. Any crap thing you send will delight me.

And on that note... what size shoe do you wear? (Yeah, I'll be sending you some stuff myself, and I've got to get my needles clacking soon.) You don't have to tell me here; a discrete email will do.

[smeddley.livejournal.com]

Teens? Wow... ;) I think we have you beat, though - we once went for 80 to 20 in the course of 12 hours. Now THAT'S a cold front!

Well, don't worry, crap you shall have! ;)

My shoe size is something I'm not bothered to share - I think I even had a lengthy discussion awhile back, about kid's shoe sizes. I wear a 6 in women's, which is a 4 in kid's. In sneakers and whatnot I buy kid's shoes because they're much cheaper!

[dynastic-queen.livejournal.com]

You have a dainty little foot!

I have a tugboat. You can hear it coming. But hey, everyone in my family either has a tug or a yacht. There ya go.

[smeddley.livejournal.com]

It, like me, is a *short* foot. But also like me, it's a *wide* foot. I'm a good EE width!