Snerfflebarglast - Round Nine...

[smeddley]

The Penultimate Round!

Simply finish this sentence:

"A zombie, a ninja, and a pirate walk into a bar..."

Comments

[auraesque.livejournal.com]

The zombie says, "Rawwwwggg"; the ninja says, "..."; and the pirate says, "Arrrg! Me noggin'!"

[crimsonlotus84.livejournal.com]

...all three sit at the bar and the bartender comes around to take their orders. The bartender sees the pirate looking depressed and completely in the dumps, so he leans over to the ninja and asks him why. The ninja responds, "Well, we all seemed to get into a disagreement and he ended up losing. I don't actually remember what we were fighting about, but he got hurt pretty bad. We just got back from the hospital where he had to have a peg leg attached because of me." Hearing this the bartender drops a whole bottle of rum right in front of the the pirate. Seeing the pirate scratching his crotch feverishly he leans into the Zombie, noticing his extremely odd smelling breathe, and asks what part he played in all this. The Zombie looks him dead in the eyes and says, "Did you SEE the wheel in his pants?"

I have a couple

[nakedblueninja.livejournal.com]

"...ARRRRHIYAHUGGHHH"
"...and the bartender goes 'Well, that's the end of my rum stocks for the night'."

[tarpo.livejournal.com]

every part of me want to say "*THUNK* URRRR *silence* ARRR!" But I don't know if only I would find that to be hilarious

[tjstein.livejournal.com]

and the bartender asks, "hey, have you guys seen a monkey?"

[gelsey.livejournal.com]

... and the pirate asks for rum, the ninja for saki, and the zombie asks for a ... well, zombie (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Zombie_cocktail).

(It really comes as no surprise the zombie's a cannibal.)

The barkeep watches the motley group closely. Finally, the Irishman asks, "Where do ye hail from?"

"Argh," says the pirate.

"Hee-yah," says the ninja.

"Oh, hell," the zombie says.

"No, really, where are you from?" the barkeep asks again.

The pirate and ninja are once again uncooperative, but the zombie says again, "Oh, really, hell."

(I am horrible at making up jokes. But I just had to try.)

[lyonza.livejournal.com]

... and the vampire behind the bar says, "I'm sorry, but we don't serve your kind here."

[clare-dragonfly.livejournal.com]

"Ow."

[revoked-soul.livejournal.com]

"...I'm sure it was painful."

[a-l-p-h-a-b-e-t.livejournal.com]

... which forces penchaft to make another comic.

[a-l-p-h-a-b-e-t.livejournal.com]

and the bartender says, "look it's the New Village People!"

[penchaft.livejournal.com]

...no one notices the ninja suddenly materialise right behind the barman, who is promptly executed for his past crimes against humanity (not only watering down spirits but also reusing lemon slices stolen from the nearby restaurant), and then replace the bartender, impressing everyone with his cocktail making skills (he's best at the ones that involve slicing open a coconut in mid-air), because the pirate has taken over at the piano, doing his best Tom Waits impression (despite his pedalling being awkward due to the peg-leg and some of the black notes sticking to his hook) and attracting all the ugly girls because the pretty ones aren't too interested in kissing his salty vaguely-spinach-smelling yellowy mouth, while the zombie sits at the bar, unable to swig down anything due to his missing lower jar, and also unable to sip through a straw, he 'graaaarghs' in time to the piano and snaps off knuckles as tips for the barmaids; also there was a hummmingbird.