Snerfflebarglast: Round Six

[smeddley]

This is going to take a little explanation, so bear with me.

There are are three main categories of information in the world, and each has three sub-categories:

Category I - things you need to know.
     IA - Very important, potentially life-saving information
     IB - Great, improve-the-whole-world-around-you information
     IC - Good, solid, makes-your-life-better/easier information

Category II - things that you don't need to know, but are interesting
     IIA - Satisfies-a-long-held-curiosity information
     IIB - Makes-you-look-brilliant-at-a-party information
     IIC - Amuses-you-momentarily information

Category III - things you'd rather not know
     IIIA - Why-do-I-want-to-know-that information
     IIIB - Ewwwww-why-did-you-tell-me-that information
     IIIC - OMG-pass-the-brain-bleach information

Your task, should you choose to accept it, is to try to give me a piece of information as far up the chain as possible (um, I would think it would go without saying, but with you lot... IA is the highest level). The catch is that you only get one shot, and it has to be something I don't already know. So... learn me some good crap!

Edit: Any 'factiod' easily disproved by a quick glance 'round the 'net will earn you -10 points and a bit of pointing and laughing. :)

Comments

[penchaft.livejournal.com]

What, one for every level, or just one thing which is as high as possible?

[smeddley.livejournal.com]

Just one that gets you as high as possible.

[tarpo.livejournal.com]

I don't get it.. honestly.. no idea what you are really asking for here.

[smeddley.livejournal.com]

A fun piece of information, the more useful the better. For example... if you're kidnapped and stuffed in the trunk of a car, try to pull out the wires to the tail lights (especially if it's at night!) because there's the possibility that the cops may then pull over the car and you can scream and pound on the trunk and maybe not die. :)

[penchaft.livejournal.com]

You've heard about the kidnap-safe boots, right? The ones with a release inside? (On that note: more horror-genre meat lockers need these.)

[smeddley.livejournal.com]

Yup - the Hyundai has that. Hubby was getting stuff out of the trunk a few weeks ago and pointed to the lever and said, 'What's that?' I said, 'That's the safety latch, so you can't lock me in the trunk!' He said, 'Damn, I'd better come up with an alternate plan.'

...I'm 20% sure he was joking...

[penchaft.livejournal.com]

I was going to say something like "well if he cuts off your hands - oh, but then he'd have to clean the boot, so you don't need to worry" but... your husband probably wouldn't bother about cleaning it, would he?

[dynastic-queen.livejournal.com]

Heyyyyy--I just did a Don't Get Put In Your Damned Car Trunk post! *beams*

[penchaft.livejournal.com]

(ah, nevermind, I misread that paragraph.)

If my liver stops functioning again then people should make sure I take folic acid tablets and drink as much orange juice (foods containing folic acid are less useful, as I will just immediately chunder them back up) as humanly possible.

[crimsonlotus84.livejournal.com]

Did you know that cancer can begin from as small a point as at the microscopic DNA level of a twisted double helix? You see, it's believed that when a DNA strand twists in some way that does not impede development or the genetic code of the host but is still unnatural to the rest of the DNA it'll try to repair itself by pulling tightly and releaseing, damaging the DNA and sending mixed genetic codes to it's inhabitant. After a long battle against itself a type of cancerous growth occurs after the continuous damaging and repairing the DNA's struggle causes. To counteract this there is a new drug being researched and created at the University of Arizona that would essentially send a chemical message to the DNA making it think everything is alright and there is no need to repair itself. In adidition to sending a message the drug would also create a microscopic barrier between the two damaged points of a DNA strand creating a buffer that'll rub and get damaged instead of the strand itself. This in turn presents the problem of not only knowing what message to send to stop a DNA stand from performing a specific action but also creating something at such a small level that it can interact with a strand at all.

All of this is very hush hush and is in no way approved as of yet due to the mentioned complications and incomplete variables and side effects that it may cause.

[tarpo.livejournal.com]

The longest running continuous sporting event is the St John's Regatta. It celebrated its 188th running this year and takes place less than an hour from the most easterly point in North America.

Rank as you see fit..

[tarpo.livejournal.com]

hrm.. this won't place any higher.. but its a funny IIC

Back in "the day" when IRC was THE PLACE to be.. before MP3 swapping and channel bots were not the norm there was a hardcore group of EFnet Amiga users.. So.. it turns out that there is a major bug that caused the modem to disconnect and attempt a reconnect when the proper text string ending in NO CARRIER was displayed.. Between that.. and joining #bible as Jesus and saying "Hey! I'm back!" I managed to get myself added to more than a few channel ban lists..

[revoked-soul.livejournal.com]

All right. I had to think about this for a bit, and eventually decided screw the research, I shall bring you life-saving information from my own personal experience. And since MOST of my life-saving information is stuff you probably already know (like, 'not wearing your seatbelt while speeding down a twisty, unlit rural road on a foggy night is stupid'), I had to reach a little further into the depths of my mind.

So...

If ever you are in west Africa, out in the middle of nowhere, in a small village with no electricity, and you have to walk around outside at night (like, to go to the hole in the ground that's serving as your toilet, for example?), using a flashlight to find the way and wearing closed shoes as wisely advised to you...

Don't walk throgh the tall grass. That's where the cobras and the vipers are. Consider yourself warned.

If, however, you run into a snake elsewhere, and you happen to see it before it sees you...kill it.

[nakedblueninja.livejournal.com]

If (and I highly doubt this will happen to you unless you take that ill-advised January trip to Alaska) you get caught outside in a snowstorm and can't get somewhere warm and safe, you can survive and be even moderately comfortable.

First you dig snow until you have a big pile of it. Then you dig a tunnel into it, big enough to fit your body and maybe a little bigger so you can curl up in the end of it. Then you go inside it for about 20 minutes or so. Then, you want to get out of it for about 20 minutes or so. You leave the tunnel after 20 minutes so that you can disperse the body heat you've generated inside it, allowing it to freeze solid so it won't collapse on you.

Then you wait inside it for help to arrive. Cell phones are a good addition to this plan, so long as you're in an area with coverage.

Also, moose are twice as dangerous as bears. But that's less a life-saving thing than a "don't fuck with moose" thing.

[gelsey.livejournal.com]

Are we allowed to give more than one bit of info in hopes that one of them will be something you don't know?

[smeddley.livejournal.com]

Yes, like I said - even if I know a lot about it, if you provide one tiny critical detail I didn't know, it counts!

[gelsey.livejournal.com]

The best way to teach a dog not to bite when they're young is to bite them back. Be alpha female ;)

Daddy Long Legs aren't actually spiders. Camel Spiders *shudders* aren't actually spiders either. But they are highly territorial and will chase you out of their territory--I recommend climbing up onto something to get away from them, b/c they are freaky little spawns of Satan.

They took Complete Contact Solution off the shelves because it didn't do a good enough job killing a certain type of bacteria. Meaning I have to find a new kind of contact solution to use.

You can eat the flowers of the nasturtium (http://www.sunriseseeds.com/images/nasturtiumvariety.jpg) plant. They're actually quite good on salads. The red ones are spicy.

You can also eat dandelion greens. They're supposed to make a good salad. Of course, supposedly there is dandelion wine as well ...

Tampon boxes are a wonderful way to smuggle pork into Saudi Arabia. Also, if you want a Christmas tree, you can just tell the customs agent that the different parts (of a fake tree) are a shoe rack and flower decorating things that the wife wants.

If stuck on a deserted island with no fresh water, do not despair, for there is a way to make it. Though hopefully you will have a sheet of plastic to help. Dig a hole on the beach so that water is at least partially filling the bottom; in the center of the hole, put a cup or something to hold liquid with; cover the hole, preferably with plastic; weight the plastic down on the corners and place something (a rock, a mudball, etc) in the center of the plastic so that it dips down a bit directly over the cup; wait--the sun with evaporate the salt water and it will rise, condense on the plastic, and run down the plastic to drip into the cup. Viola! Fresh water!

You can play the headjoint of a flute and even make it play a little tune. Alternately, you can play the flute without a headjoint--it just takes a Godawful amount of air and a certain way of forming the mouth.

[nicked-metal.livejournal.com]

If you see floaters (small translucent thingies that look like they're bacteria floating on your eyeball but are actually a vision of the retinal blood vessels) and those floaters darken and start to pulsate visibly, then you are at risk of retinal detachment and permanent blindness. (Which is how leora saved my eyesight, after losing hers.)

[clare-dragonfly.livejournal.com]

The best place to hit someone to apply torture (at least if you don't want to be caught) is the bottoms of the feet, because as long as the skin is not cut, there will be no marks.