The longest picture

[smeddley]

How it Took Me Six Hours to Accomplish One Tiny Task,
the Importance of Primer
and How it's All tarpo's Fault

So I woke up this morning ready to futz about the house and do nothing important. All I had to do was take that picture for tarpo's community, dowhatido. Just two shots - one looking out the front door and another facing in from the front door. I grabbed my camera and snapped away.

But wait! Isn't that border in the kitchen just popping out in that picture? That border I hate and mean to take down, I just haven't gotten around to doing it yet? Man, I'm going to have to put a disclaimer on the picture that it's not my taste, really! I mean, fine if it's yours, there's nothing wrong with it, it's just a bit... country for my taste. It doesn't reflect me. You know... I could take it down! I don't have anything else planned, anyway. Yeah, that's the ticket!

Now, where's the spray bottle? Argh! Can't find it. Maybe I can use a sponge. No, this isn't working, why can't I almost be out of Windex or something and just use one of those? Yeah, I know I have a bunch of spray bottles, I just don't know where they are! And where's the big ladder? My calves are starting to hurt and this three-stepper's not cutting it. WAIT! Why don't I just temporarily put the Windex in a jar and and use the spray bottle? And, DUH, the ladder's in the basement. Okay, good. This shouldn't take more than an hour or two.

Man, this is one sticky border! I took down whole walls faster than... what the...? Oh, no, no, you have GOT to be kidding me. NO! That is NOT paint peeling up. Oh crap. Okay, deep calm breaths, at least the wall underneath is just a peach-ish off-white, not too bad, at least until we decide what we're going to do and paint. But I wonder why it's... oh, this is NOT GOOD. Not good at all. Is that... wallboard? I've peeled down to the wallboard?! Did these people not use... oh, goody, there's the mud. Nope, no primer, what weasel-heads. Seriously, I realize that primer is a little more expensive than paint (especially the Wally World special paint) but it's so worth it. Idiots. Well, I can't leave this exposed. *heavy sigh* Where's the painting stuff?

AH! HIT MY KNEE. HIT MY KNEE ON THE STUPID LADDER OH THAT HURTS IT HURTS IT HURTS maybe I should go to the doctor it's been weeks and man that is just not right I barely tapped it and oh the pain, the pain.

Okay, roller? Check. Paintbrush? Check. Primer? Where is that primer? No, not in the garage. There's some paint, it's white paint, but I need the purple can. Ah! Ultra Bright White Primer. Yes! Ewwww, man, I forgot how much smellier primer is than paint. Ah well. Oh! Sanding sponge! Right, I saw it... out in the garage. Okay, ready. I'll wash down the walls, let them dry, give them a light sand and paint. After I scrape down the rest of the wallpaper and really loose paint, that is.

*Three Hours Later*

Oh my dog, I'm starving. I haven't eaten yet today. Let's go one a run to the French Fry store! Buckle the dog into the car, the three of us go get food. *eat eat eat* Ah! *sigh, back to work*

squirt, squirt, squirt ~ scrape scrape scrape ~ squirt, squirt, squirt ~ scrape scrape scrape ~ scrape scrape scrape ~ rub rub rub rub ~ scrape scrape scrape ~ sand scuff sand scuff ~ edge, paint, edge, paint, edge, paint ~ lather, rinse, repeat

Okay, now it's time to clean up. Pick up all the wallpaper bits... where's the broom? Right, basement. Okay... CRAMP IN MY CALF! OW OW OW OW! Okay, sweep... scuff up the sticky bits... sweep, sweep. Okay, need a vacuum for the little bits. Where's the vacuum? I have two of them. Ergh. Oh! There it is. Wipe down the counters, get all the bits up. Oh, I do not feel like cleaning the brush. I'll just wrap it in Saran Wrap and stick it in the freezer. One less thing to deal with. Still have to clean out the roller and the pan. Man, my back is killing me. And my arms. It sucks working over your head like that. Yeah, yeah, everything's over my head, I know.

Finally! Now I just have to take out the trash and I'm done. Wait. And put the Windex back in the bottle. THEN I'm done (except the paintbrush in the freezer, but we're pretending that doesn't exist for the rest of today). Oh, and take the picture...

All of that to go from this (left) to this (right):



And you know what? After all of that I realized I probably could have just Photoshopped the damn border out. *headdesk*

Comments

[elaran.livejournal.com]

Oh man. O___O

BUT IF YOU'D PHOTOSHOPPED IT OUT, YOU'D STILL HAVE KNOWN IT WAS THERE AND IT WOULD HAVE EATEN YOU UP INSIDE MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Erm, what I meant to say was holy cow, good on you for doing that! And uh, you tapped your knee and it hurt that much? NOT GOOD YOUNG LADY.

[smeddley.livejournal.com]

True. I would have known it was a lie. And that would be bad. Plus, at least I accomplished something today!

Yeah, the knee thing is really starting to bother me because it really doesn't feel like it's getting any better. But I really hate going to the doctor. *sigh*

[tarpo.livejournal.com]

God forbid you pretty the place up a little for me.. I believe my picture had a sink full of dishes.. No one said you had to disprove you were a redneck.

oh.. BTW.. I'm taking a picture of my basement wall for this weeks.. you have anything you need to do for that?

[smeddley.livejournal.com]

I'm well stocked on basement wall pictures, thank you very much.

Oh why, why, why must you mock me so?

*SOB*

[tarpo.livejournal.com]

Its because I have a huge crush on you and this is the equivalent of pulling your hair at recess..

or maybe i'm just a dick.. I can never tell

[smeddley.livejournal.com]

I think it's a combo. I'm easy to pick on, and you're a bully. ;)

[tarpo.livejournal.com]

Must be it!

[smeddley.livejournal.com]

Oh, and I was totally going to do a real pimpage-testimonial post (dowhatido is not only fun, but motivational! It got me accomplishing things I'd let go far too long, and I was happy to do them thanks to dowhatido!) but... pffff. ;)

[tarpo.livejournal.com]

hehe.. well I will have to do my best to tie more pictures into jobs that you need to get done.. How is your garage?

[smeddley.livejournal.com]

OH GOD NO. NOT THE GARAGE. SERIOUSLY.

At least not until the basement is done. Then all that crap I'm storing in there can at least be sorted and moved.

I think if you did it now I'd just have to punt. You'd see a messy garage, but! At least I can still park in my garage, which is more than I can say for most people.

Ooooh, you could do 'the inside of your car'. Mine could use a vacuuming!

[tarpo.livejournal.com]

I'm actually not 100% sure what I am going to do yet.. but I have a really good idea

[penchaft.livejournal.com]

Your life is intriguing!

[smeddley.livejournal.com]

I know, its so incredibly fascinating sometimes I can't stand being me! :P

[penchaft.livejournal.com]

But if you're on the outside mocking in, then who would we all be centered around? Laughing at the holes in Audra's head is boring in comparison to this!

[smeddley.livejournal.com]

I saw we gather around you!

...what's this about holes in her head? (see, I'm so left out!)

[smeddley.livejournal.com]

*Say, dammit. SAY. Ugh.

[lyonza.livejournal.com]

I just giggled all the way through - I can see me doing exactly the same thing.

[smeddley.livejournal.com]

I'm glad I'm not *too* weird, then. Sometimes my trains of thought even confuse me. And sometimes they collide inside my head, and the smoke from the resulting crash tends to make me sneeze... ;)

[revoked-soul.livejournal.com]

Well, how very...productive of you.

Want to come over and paint my horrid bathroom? Huh, huh? Since you're on a roll and all?

[smeddley.livejournal.com]

Sure, I'll even bring my paint brushes - you provide the paint and plane fare... ;)

[icecat.livejournal.com]

You're funny. :)

But it looks great!!

[smeddley.livejournal.com]

I try. :)

Thanks, I'm still trying to figure out if it looks like it's missing something just because we were used to the border or if it really does need something else...