And me without a cricket bat

[smeddley]

~.^

It’s not like the movies.

Not like the movies AT ALL.

They’re smart. And fast. I’ve had to pile all of the furniture up against the door, because they picked the lock. A deadbolt, go figure. Only then did they resort to breaking the glass, forcing us upstairs. But they’re gathering supplies, neighbor’s ladders, and coming up the side of the –

Helicopters?

Come to rescue… no! It’s them, flying! They’re even smarter than we imagined. Okay, not all of them. The one in the corner trying to run through the tree trunk, not so bright. I think squirrels are smarter than him. So I wonder, do you retain a relative intelligence after you’ve been… transformed? That would be a fascinating thing to study, if only…

I’m out of ammo, and they keep coming.

I don’t think I can -

Comments

[revoked-soul.livejournal.com]

I was about to write 'Either you're talking about zombies, or I've been married to Colum for too long'...then I noticed the link.

That was highly entertaining.

Also, if ever you ARE attacked by zombies, you'd be better off with a crowbar than a cricket bat. ;)

[smeddley.livejournal.com]

I was thinking along the lines of an aluminium softball bat. I realize Brainiac did a show on relative bat strength/destructiveness and declared the cricket bat the winner (against a baseball bat and a golf club) but 1) I think they're biased and 2) an aluminium bat is much stronger than a wooden one.

...either that or a hatchet. A hatchet might work well against zombies...

[revoked-soul.livejournal.com]

Well, you have to destroy the brain to kill a zombie. A bat's probably not the best option for that (not that it can't be done, but as a not-so-big person I'd have trouble repeatedly cushing a skull with a baseball bat, and I imagine you would too). Hatchet? That would work, but you'd have to be close to the bitey zombies to use it. Full-sized axe or crowbar would give you a bit more distance while splitting skulls...

...and I'm going to shut up now, because I sound crazy.

[smeddley.livejournal.com]

The problem with the full-sized axe is, like a sledgehammer, it's end-heavy. And last time I used a big sledge I 'accidentally' threw it across the yard (luckily away from the house and sliding glass door). So I don't want anything with too much weight too far away.

Hollow point bullets? Hand grenades? (Even if you don't destroy the brain, if the body is in a billion little bits the zombie'll be hard pressed to do damage)

Good god, I'm actually seriously thinking about this.

...see you in the nuthouse!

[revoked-soul.livejournal.com]

The last time I used a sledgehammer I ended up being flung along behind it every time I swung it (to be fair, I weighed a few pounds less then). I decided that if I was to be smashing things, a pick-axe was more my style, and used one with much greater success...

...and that's CLEARLY the answer to this dilemma! A pick-axe! Good ol' brain-crushing fun!

I know, the concept kind of sucks you in and you start giving the matter weighty thought. The worst part is, this is not the first time I've had a zombie-killing coversation...

Ha, maybe we can be roommates!

[dynastic-queen.livejournal.com]

Why, you clever little dickens, you.

[smeddley.livejournal.com]

{bows}

[gelsey.livejournal.com]

LOL

[smeddley.livejournal.com]

Thank you! :)

[oneworldvision.livejournal.com]

I was so very tempted to almost do this. But I fear the zombies have eaten my brain before I've had the chance. Pity.

...Especially since I spent a good part of my morning refreshing my friends page to see asklbb's latest on the subject. Guess I can't use the "I forgot" excuse.

[smeddley.livejournal.com]

I thought it was probably getting a little late for me to do it, but I thought, what the heck. I, too, knew about it much earlier in the day, but inspiration took its sweet time.

Isn't that the way it always is?