I will not compose limericks on my drive to work, nor write before coffee

[smeddley]

There once was a handsome young buck
Whose abs were as hard as a puck
He wasn't too smart
But he had a good heart
And of course he was good for a...

...helping hand around the house, you know, heavy lifting, gardening, that sort of thing. And for three pounds fifty an hour - I told you he was a bit daft! - you can't beat it." Glenda sipped her tea, and she watched John trim the overgrown holly bush in the back corner of the yard in silence, admiring the way his muscles ripped under his tanned skin.

"I need to get some help around the house," Janet signed dramatically. "Sure, Kevin is good at making money, but not much else."

"At least he makes enough that you can hire out for everything!"

"But he won't let me hire anyone without his say-so, and he's never around to approve anything! I swear, that man is so controlling. I don't know why I married him, honestly. He's not even good in bed."

Glenda rolled her eyes at Janet. "You knew that when you married him, and to be honest, you also know that has a little more to do with you and your preferences than him."

"I'm beginning to think it has a little to do with his preferences, too!"

"You know," Glenda said softly, "I wouldn't be half surprised. There was some talk at the last house-party, the one a month before you got married... but then everyone was drunk, and even if they were sure what they saw there's still the 'but they were drunk' card to fall back on."

"Yes, I'd heard that," Janet said mildly. "I think we just need to talk it over and come to an agreement. I have no problem putting on appearances in public, but I think privately it's time we lived our own lives."

"Do you think he'd agree?"

"As long as it was very hush-hush, and we denied it if people asked, then yes, I think it would. I think he's chaffing about this marriage as much as I am, and as soon as I give his father his precious heir," she patted her rounded belly, "I think he'll be more than happy. We'll have secured the family fortune, the estate, and the title and can move on with our lives."

"That sounds so perfect," Glenda pouted. "Why couldn't my life have turned out so well?"

"You made the cardinal sin of marrying for love, dear."

"And look where that's gotten me! That lying, cheating, son-of-a-"

"Shhhhh, you don't want the neighbors to hear! The key to the entire plan is that everyone thinks you're deliriously happy and oblivious to his affairs."

"Sometimes I think pretending to be too daft to notice is more painful than the actual affairs. Ah well, at least it's not long now. This is one 'business trip' he won't be returning from! I just wish I could have taken out more life insurance on him, but I know, I know, that would look suspicious."

"You might not have a lot of money, but you'll be free, and you can get it right next time."

Comments

[revoked-soul.livejournal.com]

Interesting!

You can write before coffee? Very impressive.

[penchaft.livejournal.com]

Janet signed dramatically

hee.

I can't imagine anyone who was called Glenda having a happy life.

[gelsey.livejournal.com]

Hee! What fun. Nice to see you writing again!

[http://users.livejournal.com/anam_cara_/]

Love it!

[intracutaneous.livejournal.com]

...And of course he was good for a... <-- this is too good!!

[aeamek.livejournal.com]

good for a........

[smeddley.livejournal.com]

Not very well... But in a pinch, sleep deprivation is oddly inspiring. Your mind thinks of things you wouldn't ordinarily!

[smeddley.livejournal.com]

I'm writing for the hearing impaired! <.< >.> Or, I can't type. :D

Don't ask me where the name came from, it just popped into my head. Maybe living in Kansas is damaging me on a sub-conscious level...

[smeddley.livejournal.com]

Thank you!

[smeddley.livejournal.com]

Thanks, I hoped it wasn't too weird. :D

[smeddley.livejournal.com]

I don't know where your mind is, missy, all I was going to say was...

um...

duck? ;)

[smeddley.livejournal.com]

Set of ellipsis? :D

[aeamek.livejournal.com]

Hmm. That makes sense...

[intracutaneous.livejournal.com]

*cough cough* Mmmhm... :p

[kailita.livejournal.com]

They're going to off him?? Wait, you can't stop there! It's all humorous gossipy fun until the last couple of lines...and then it turns positively devious!

I miss your writing. =) And especially your mysteries!

[smeddley.livejournal.com]

Thanks! I didn't really think too much further ahead than this, I'm not even sure how she's offing him (poison, I think, since hitmen leave more of a trail). I'd really like to put together one story in the proper fashion, you know, knowing where it's going and all that, but I'm not sure it'll ever happen. I am going to try to write more on a daily basis, though, since I missed it. Stupid work-house-Lego Star Wars getting in the way!