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Apparently, when you're in the bellydance mafia, you have to watch everything that had to do with bellydance because... the mafia says so? Which is why we had to get together and watch "Just Like a Woman", a movie about a bellydancer and her... well, see, that's the problem, none of us could really determine what the point of the movie was.
Stop reading if you plan on watching it (though I would not recommend it, I've watched a lot of movies this year, and this is in the bottom 5).
Basically, this woman takes a once-a-week bellydance class at a local gym. The instructor is a guy, which is not entirely unheard of, but... odd. Most middle-eastern men who do bellydance do so in a very different style from the ladies. But, okay, gay white male in Chicago teaching bellydance class with one promising student. Except... not really.
Marilyn (the promising student) stops by a market every day on her way to work, run by an Egyptian man, his wife (Mona), and his mother. The mother hates the wife, who hasn't given her grandchildren. The husband kinda hates his mother, but doesn't stick up for his wife in front of her.
So one day Marilyn comes to work too find they've fired her and won't pay her what they owe her. She goes home early to find her borderline abusive, unemployed husband in bed with another woman. She immediately calls her bellydance instructor to tell him that she will go compete in Santa Fe at the big bellydance competition to get into a big touring company (because Santa Fe is the closest place they have those? Really?).
On the other side of town the mean mother-in-law flusters Mona by yelling at her, causing her to drop her pills and... yeah, you see this coming. Mother-in-law dies of an overdose of her heart medication. Mona runs away.
Marilyn drives off, as well, and just happens to run into Mona at a park where her bus has stopped (as they do, who needs a pesky thing like a bus depot?!). They run off together a la Thelma and Louise. Only with less camaraderie - we'll get to that in a moment.
Mr. Bellydance Instructor has set up a string of places for her to perform along the way to make some money. At the first place they make a ridiculous amount, get propositioned by the owner, then threatened, and end up running off. The second place is going well, until Marilyn sees Mona's picture in the paper, wanted for murder.
Oh yes, in less than 24 hours Chicago police had not only done an autopsy on an 82 year old woman who had a heart condition and died off what liked like heart failure, but instituted a full-on manhunt for her. Also, unknown to them, Marilyn's husband reported her missing (to the same set of detectives!) and they make the connection between the two women in mere moments. Amazing work!
Marilyn leaves Mona at a bus station (still in her bellydance costume) and drives off. But had a change of heart and goes back for her. They camp on an Indian reservation, get kicked off and sent to a campground where a woman, her husband, and son are camping and have a big of a run-in that involves some racial slurs and ends up with Marilyn (the blond girl, not the ethnic girl - she was supposed to be Egyptian, but the actress was apparently Indian) getting beaten up. Makes total sense, yes? At this point we don't even care about poor Marilyn, we've hit our pity limit. There's a limit to a believable amount of crap that happens to an ordinary person.
So of course she can't dance, which is probably for the better, because have I mentioned that she is bad? I mean bad. She can kind of do the moves, but it looks like she learned them in a Zumba class. She has zero grace. And kinda dances more like a stripper. Bad.
Mona (who is a decent dancer) takes her place and earns her a spot in the company. She also calls her husband who is not at all upset about his mom dying, says he knows it was a mistake (and delivers the only good line in the movie), and all he wants is her back, they'll run away together. She says no, she loved him but doesn't want him back and she's going to turn herself in. Because... I don't know.
She sends the costume and certificate back to Marilyn, then heads for a train station. Marilyn drives to the train station, crumples up the certificate (admitting they'd never believe it was her that had danced at the audition) and...
The end.
No, seriously, that was it. Possibly the most unresolved ending I have ever seen. Spectacularly anticlimactic. No idea what happens to either of them.
So... stupid movie title, pointless plot, bad acting, horrible dancing... absolutely nothing to recommend this movie. Nothing.
Stop reading if you plan on watching it (though I would not recommend it, I've watched a lot of movies this year, and this is in the bottom 5).
Basically, this woman takes a once-a-week bellydance class at a local gym. The instructor is a guy, which is not entirely unheard of, but... odd. Most middle-eastern men who do bellydance do so in a very different style from the ladies. But, okay, gay white male in Chicago teaching bellydance class with one promising student. Except... not really.
Marilyn (the promising student) stops by a market every day on her way to work, run by an Egyptian man, his wife (Mona), and his mother. The mother hates the wife, who hasn't given her grandchildren. The husband kinda hates his mother, but doesn't stick up for his wife in front of her.
So one day Marilyn comes to work too find they've fired her and won't pay her what they owe her. She goes home early to find her borderline abusive, unemployed husband in bed with another woman. She immediately calls her bellydance instructor to tell him that she will go compete in Santa Fe at the big bellydance competition to get into a big touring company (because Santa Fe is the closest place they have those? Really?).
On the other side of town the mean mother-in-law flusters Mona by yelling at her, causing her to drop her pills and... yeah, you see this coming. Mother-in-law dies of an overdose of her heart medication. Mona runs away.
Marilyn drives off, as well, and just happens to run into Mona at a park where her bus has stopped (as they do, who needs a pesky thing like a bus depot?!). They run off together a la Thelma and Louise. Only with less camaraderie - we'll get to that in a moment.
Mr. Bellydance Instructor has set up a string of places for her to perform along the way to make some money. At the first place they make a ridiculous amount, get propositioned by the owner, then threatened, and end up running off. The second place is going well, until Marilyn sees Mona's picture in the paper, wanted for murder.
Oh yes, in less than 24 hours Chicago police had not only done an autopsy on an 82 year old woman who had a heart condition and died off what liked like heart failure, but instituted a full-on manhunt for her. Also, unknown to them, Marilyn's husband reported her missing (to the same set of detectives!) and they make the connection between the two women in mere moments. Amazing work!
Marilyn leaves Mona at a bus station (still in her bellydance costume) and drives off. But had a change of heart and goes back for her. They camp on an Indian reservation, get kicked off and sent to a campground where a woman, her husband, and son are camping and have a big of a run-in that involves some racial slurs and ends up with Marilyn (the blond girl, not the ethnic girl - she was supposed to be Egyptian, but the actress was apparently Indian) getting beaten up. Makes total sense, yes? At this point we don't even care about poor Marilyn, we've hit our pity limit. There's a limit to a believable amount of crap that happens to an ordinary person.
So of course she can't dance, which is probably for the better, because have I mentioned that she is bad? I mean bad. She can kind of do the moves, but it looks like she learned them in a Zumba class. She has zero grace. And kinda dances more like a stripper. Bad.
Mona (who is a decent dancer) takes her place and earns her a spot in the company. She also calls her husband who is not at all upset about his mom dying, says he knows it was a mistake (and delivers the only good line in the movie), and all he wants is her back, they'll run away together. She says no, she loved him but doesn't want him back and she's going to turn herself in. Because... I don't know.
She sends the costume and certificate back to Marilyn, then heads for a train station. Marilyn drives to the train station, crumples up the certificate (admitting they'd never believe it was her that had danced at the audition) and...
The end.
No, seriously, that was it. Possibly the most unresolved ending I have ever seen. Spectacularly anticlimactic. No idea what happens to either of them.
So... stupid movie title, pointless plot, bad acting, horrible dancing... absolutely nothing to recommend this movie. Nothing.