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I generally like to watch TV as I'm going to sleep, but this weekend taught me two very important lessons:
1) Movie channels are not a good choice.
2) Sleep timers are important.
You might think you know why the second point is important, but it's not the obvious reason. Yes, it can disturb your sleep and you will get a better, deeper night's sleep without the noise and flickering light.
But that pales in comparison to waking up to soft core porn at 3am.
I mean on one hand it's undeniably hilariously bad (well, sort of), but on the other it's terribly embarrassing. Not because it's porn, but because it's not.
Who in their right mind watches this?! Okay, before the internet I could understand it for teenagers, but now? Now that there's real porn everywhere you look - even often in places you really aren't expecting to find it? If you want porn... watch porn. I honestly think both the storylines and dialogue are better than movie channel 'porn', anyway.
Certainly there's less anatomy fail.
Yes, I admit I watched a little of Dirty Blonds from Deep Space. It's hard to admit it, but there you have it. Bad doesn't even begin to describe it.
And yes, I know I like bad monster movies and they're just as fail-y and terrible and that makes them funny, but... that just doesn't work as well for "adult" movies. Perhaps if you were at a party and it was a drinking game or you could MST3K it with your partner, but watching it alone just seems sad.
Which is why I have no idea what happened to the alien girls who crash-landed on Earth. Other than one of them had really fake sex with an earthling. And I can't say I really care. The plot was... not exactly compelling.
I was briefly fascinated by the complete failure of either of the actors to make the sex look at all convincing. She gave a blowjob to his bellybutton, then he humped her left buttock. All accompanied by truly unconvincing moans that aren't quite drowned out by really annoying, cheesy 'they're doing it' music.
So in the future, I think I will be very very very sure to set the sleep timer on the television.
1) Movie channels are not a good choice.
2) Sleep timers are important.
You might think you know why the second point is important, but it's not the obvious reason. Yes, it can disturb your sleep and you will get a better, deeper night's sleep without the noise and flickering light.
But that pales in comparison to waking up to soft core porn at 3am.
I mean on one hand it's undeniably hilariously bad (well, sort of), but on the other it's terribly embarrassing. Not because it's porn, but because it's not.
Who in their right mind watches this?! Okay, before the internet I could understand it for teenagers, but now? Now that there's real porn everywhere you look - even often in places you really aren't expecting to find it? If you want porn... watch porn. I honestly think both the storylines and dialogue are better than movie channel 'porn', anyway.
Certainly there's less anatomy fail.
Yes, I admit I watched a little of Dirty Blonds from Deep Space. It's hard to admit it, but there you have it. Bad doesn't even begin to describe it.
And yes, I know I like bad monster movies and they're just as fail-y and terrible and that makes them funny, but... that just doesn't work as well for "adult" movies. Perhaps if you were at a party and it was a drinking game or you could MST3K it with your partner, but watching it alone just seems sad.
Which is why I have no idea what happened to the alien girls who crash-landed on Earth. Other than one of them had really fake sex with an earthling. And I can't say I really care. The plot was... not exactly compelling.
I was briefly fascinated by the complete failure of either of the actors to make the sex look at all convincing. She gave a blowjob to his bellybutton, then he humped her left buttock. All accompanied by truly unconvincing moans that aren't quite drowned out by really annoying, cheesy 'they're doing it' music.
So in the future, I think I will be very very very sure to set the sleep timer on the television.