The burning questions of the day

Why do I want to waste money on a USB digital microscope? Because it's a shiny toy?

Why does pink lemonade flavored Metamucil cost a billion times more than the orange-flavored stuff?

Will I ever wake up and want to go to work? For that matter, will I ever actually want to get up at the butt-crack of dawn?

How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?

I actually wrote today! Quick, everybody act pomegranate!

The trouble started one dark and stormy afternoon as we were gathered around the windows watching the heavy black clouds roll in from the west. They were predicting up to ping-pong ball sized hail and while most of us were fretting about our cars or salivating over the possibility of a hefty insurance payout, Carl and James were arguing over which is better: comparing hail to fruit or sporting equipment.

( 'More people are more familiar with the size of most fruits,' James said. )

Please, high-five me now

I just managed to get a CSR from a collection agency* to hang up on me.

* obviously, based on my previously shared credit score, they weren't looking for me.

** also, I'm not against credit card companies trying to get their money back, but if I've told you a dozen times that the person you're trying to reach does not have this phone number, and you still call 3-4 times per day, I have a right to be a total dick to your company.

( the vaguely remembered transcript follows )

But I'm a realist. I expect the next call tomorrow. *sigh*