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Still adding things to my 1001 things in 101 days list, and the latest I've come up with is folding 1,000 paper cranes - who couldn't use a wish granted, right? Though I'd probably blow it on something accidentally like 'I wish I could remember to keep my phone charged' (it was dead last night). And I don't really believe it will work, at least not from a wish perspective. But if you spend all the time you're folding the cranes (at my slow origami speed it's about 5 minutes per crane - I'm using 3" squares, which are harder to work with but will at least be small cranes - that adds up to a whopping 83+ hours of labor) meditating on whatever's bothering you, well, you might just solve your problems yourself! Or they might be OBE (overcome by events) by the time you're done. Either way, 1000 little cranes, here I come!
...at least until I get bored and quit. Which has a better than 50% chance of happening. I mean, I have 3 folded so far, so it's fresh and I'm still enthusiastic. But I'm also only 0.3% done.
So there's a job opening at another city, and even though I seriously doubt I would even get interviewed if I applied (I'm at the lower end of the qualification spectrum), I'm still hesitant to do so. It's a lot more money, but there's always the potential for a lot more work. And it's different from the job I have now, so I'd have to learn lots of new stuff. It would also be more responsibility. But it's a lot more money.
And the question I'm asking myself is why don't I want to apply? It's not the fear of rejection, it wouldn't bother me if I didn't get interviewed or didn't get the job. I think it's more a fear that there's a sliver of a chance I would get the job. A small sliver, but still. A microscopic fiberglass-like sliver. Anyway, the fear of changing jobs is new to me. I've lived all my life hopping about houses, jobs, schools, and it's never bothered me. But now I find I'm loathe to change things. I feel a great sense of responsibility to provide money to the household. Which is also the one thing making me feel like I should apply, because it would be more money. But also a little less stable, since there's also that probation period. And you never know. At the same time, other than one month out of the year where I'm crazy-busy, I'm really pretty happy where I am. I know the job, I know the people... I'm comfortable. Although it's a completely dead-end job, there's no room for advancement. But I'm only 33, how far do I want to advance right now? As much as I sometimes think it is, money isn't everything. I don't want to be stressed about my job all the time. And, though I might still have bouts of stress about money if I stay here, well, those are fewer and further in between than everyday job stress. And what if I was completely miserable at that job, would the money make up for that? I doubt it. Sure, maybe I'd like it. There's always that chance. But you never know.
Am I reluctant to apply because I'm happy where I am, or because I'm afraid to change things? If it's the former, I'm good with it. But the latter is a bit of a problem...
...at least until I get bored and quit. Which has a better than 50% chance of happening. I mean, I have 3 folded so far, so it's fresh and I'm still enthusiastic. But I'm also only 0.3% done.
So there's a job opening at another city, and even though I seriously doubt I would even get interviewed if I applied (I'm at the lower end of the qualification spectrum), I'm still hesitant to do so. It's a lot more money, but there's always the potential for a lot more work. And it's different from the job I have now, so I'd have to learn lots of new stuff. It would also be more responsibility. But it's a lot more money.
And the question I'm asking myself is why don't I want to apply? It's not the fear of rejection, it wouldn't bother me if I didn't get interviewed or didn't get the job. I think it's more a fear that there's a sliver of a chance I would get the job. A small sliver, but still. A microscopic fiberglass-like sliver. Anyway, the fear of changing jobs is new to me. I've lived all my life hopping about houses, jobs, schools, and it's never bothered me. But now I find I'm loathe to change things. I feel a great sense of responsibility to provide money to the household. Which is also the one thing making me feel like I should apply, because it would be more money. But also a little less stable, since there's also that probation period. And you never know. At the same time, other than one month out of the year where I'm crazy-busy, I'm really pretty happy where I am. I know the job, I know the people... I'm comfortable. Although it's a completely dead-end job, there's no room for advancement. But I'm only 33, how far do I want to advance right now? As much as I sometimes think it is, money isn't everything. I don't want to be stressed about my job all the time. And, though I might still have bouts of stress about money if I stay here, well, those are fewer and further in between than everyday job stress. And what if I was completely miserable at that job, would the money make up for that? I doubt it. Sure, maybe I'd like it. There's always that chance. But you never know.
Am I reluctant to apply because I'm happy where I am, or because I'm afraid to change things? If it's the former, I'm good with it. But the latter is a bit of a problem...